Let the world come to you

Mary had a crush on a particular fellow. Her heart just pitter-pattered every time she saw him. In an attempt to win his heart, she invited him to posh dinner one Friday night. She took the day off from work to cook. When he arrived with a bottle of wine, Mary made the mistake of telling him that she had taken the day off from work to prepare. This put undue pressure on the situation. They couldn’t eat a fraction of the food.

After dinner, they kissed a bit, but then he decided to leave. They saw each other, perhaps two additional times, but Mary was the one trying to get close. He really wasn’t at all interested. At the time, Mary was heartbroken.

Now Mary sees that she was throwing herself at him – how unattractive! She could have cooked something simpler and not needed to take the day off from work either. She was trying too hard to get him to like her and that ruined any chance of having a relationship. When you are attractive, people come naturally to you and effortlessly. You don’t have to seduce them or get them to like you or win them over.

It takes work to seduce someone, attraction is natural and effortless.