Today marks the end of a very eventful year. From my family, my career to my lovelife, too many ups & downs. But then again, whats life without all these?

Im grateful to all who stood by me through my down times. Im thankful to all who lent me a hand when I badly needed you. But Im sad to say that some things may never be the same again. No matter how much we wanted to be like the past, the past is still the past. The wound is forever there. Im not being petty here, but I cant get over what had happened.

Anyway, toast to a better 2010..!

To serene, jing, sy, yx, am, cute, ling, jie, bro, mama, papa, pei, kylie, irene, joanne, jess, uncle low, bin & ryan..

Merry Christmas to all.

I wish for a better me and a better us.

Really, a bad mood really affects ur sleep. Nabeh, Ive been getting bad dreams, nightmares for the past few days. Its damn scary. =((

Okay, not like as if I dun get them last time. Last time was like maybe one in a few days? Now is like practically everyday! And I cant sleep well.

"Still with her?"

"Always will do"

....

The sweetest conversation ever.

My fringe's getting long, I need a haircut.

My pocket's getting empty, I need an extra job.

My heart's feeling lousy, I need a chillout.

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Xmas is around the corner, but Im not feeling the heat of exchanging presents and celebrating. Not in the mood for the upcoming new year either. I always hated end-of-years & the new-years. Either I feel that Ive not accomplished anything or that 'oh, another year has passed' feeling. Both sucks either way. And I hate it. Even more so when Im in a terrible lousy now. =//

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I had this message from someone close to me recently. Haven heard from him very much ever since that happened. But it feels good to hear from him, and that he's happy with who he's with now. But I just somehow wish that he wouldnt be so cold to me.

Sy's back in town. (Sounds like Santa Claus). Just received a text from her. Meetup soon I hope. Its always dragging and postponing. Everyone's so busy. I love them all, because they lighted up my poly depressed life.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL...

A terrible bad mood tonight. SHUCKS

Whatever happened to those promises we hold for each other. Those lovely memories we had. Im not talking abt a particular person but actually as I look back on my life, theres so much ppl whom I had contact with and love. It starts with us being young and innocent. And then into our rebellious teen-age, then again into lovely young adults, and going on into another phase of life../

Hai, I wish we still retain those innocence we had when we were all young.

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Cant admit Im getting old or what. I just got a terrible headache this morning when I woke up after just 2glasses yesterday! Perhaps its the cigs who's doing the trick. Pics gonna be up soon as soon as the 'photographers' upload them. Very relaxed yesterday and I lovee. And nobody is in the mood for work today.

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I dun care if Im being childish. I dun like you to hang out with her. I cant stop thinking whats going on between you & her, like the conversation or what you would address her? Not another sweetie please. I dun care if she has a boyfriend already or how much she loves her. SERIOUSLY I DUN GIVE A DAMN. All I know is I cant stand you being with her. And I got nightmares because of the both of you. But no use telling you, you'll just brush it aside like how you always did.. and broke my heart.

Collection 3 up now..

You know Ive been procastinating to go see this dying man, a relative of mine actually. And now, I do not have the chance anymore.

I dunno why but my heart feels nothing when I heard the news. Just feel numb.

Got to go...

HELLLOOO. Im back from my TP. Failed terribly but a huge load off my mind. I felt immediately relieved like as if a big stone has just been removed. It was an experience for me la. Will give it a try again. (= NO WORRIES!

Recap of my terrible driving just now..

1st one - Directional Change. I dunno why but my car wasnt straight & I think I buang the kerb abit. I was too nervous to notice.

2nd one - Slope. OKAY!

3rd one - S course. I buang the kerb also. Lol. I practised before test perfectly okay leh! This is my most confident one lo! )=

4th one - Parallel Parking. Nabeh, I cannot see the pole cause of the heavy rain and then in the end buang pole. =//

5th one - Vertical Parking. I think okay but then because of the darn stupid rain, I forgot & I dunno what mistake I made.

Then Im out to the road liao. LOL. If I know I already fail in the circuit I wouldnt have gone out to the road. It was raining so heavily I was so scared nor. NABEH. I nv drive in such bad condition before. Suay suay today TP, pouring like mad like tt. HAI.

My instructor say I broke his record of failures nor. His worst one was only 36points. HAHAHA. I got 56. =p

After the long anticipated wait, I finally get to catch
Twilight Saga New Moon!!

This is one of the very few 2-hrs plus show that I enjoyed & understand (= Love it.//

Am gonna continue back on the book and follow up on the series! I realised that I enjoyed the novel more after watching the movie cause able to visualise! And again, Im SO looking forward to Breaking Dawn & Eclipse. Well done!

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You know I realise I haven been spending time on reading recently. So guilty. I paused for quite a very long period of time halfway through New Moon. I got to finish up the twilight series soon and start on new authors! Think Jodi Picoult's would be nice. ((=

That tonight's gonna be a good night.. That tonight's gonna be a good good night!

For once, I dunno why I feel like clubbing and dancing. I was hyper high. I danced around uncle low's room and when I was going off, I just moved and danced abit at the door. I think I saw Uncle Low's mummy look at me one kind like as though Im on pills. Wuahahah! So fun~!

Anyway, we went Asia Pac Food Fair today at Expo. Lotsa nice and weird food! Too many people and squeezing all the way! My boobs shrunk )=

Off to bed. Morning shift tomorrow and Im feeling hyper active still =p Ciaos

Oh yah, Collection 2 - Shades of Basic is up hor! Please support support! (=

Its that time of the month whereby my pimples appear to shine again. -_-"

Business has improved after seeing Dr Karina finally. Love the stools softener she gave but bad taste! *Bleah* Hopefully I wun get immune to this, if not cannot take anymore! Gonna see her tomorrow for more dosage. I finished my bottle. =p

Its friday the 13th today! Raining all day long, so bored at home. Planned to go tampines with Uncle Low, but the rain just wouldnt go away )= Take away my one & only partor day this week. *Pui* I wonder whats my schedule like the next week. TP's coming, Xmas's coming. Next month gonna be a killer month. I feel like Im throwing my money away for the TP lo. Seriously cannot pass one. 180bucks leh! So XimTia!

I wanna buy a new HP. Hahaha, yes again. Which one?

Just some of the nicer pics (=

Im so looking forward to the 2nd collection. Hope they'll turn out nice.

Finally my off day tomorrow. Weepee! And I thought I was going to die today! My stomach was churning early in the morning today at 0730H! So damn painful. After suffering in the toilet for like abt 15mins, back to bed and woke up at 12 again for a 2nd round of fierce battle! Nabeh, like contractions pain. I really thought I was going to die. =//

Okay anyway, I cant find anything to blog abt anymore. Ciaos.

I wish for a honeymoon too. Im tired and I need a break :(

Just went to see Michael with Dada and I feel beautiful under his hands again. Da had a ultimate makeover again. Takes some time to get used to.. (=

Oh yeah, lack of updates again. Was thinking of changing my blog address. Perhaps to wordpress this time. Will keep you updated. Sighs, Im so damn addicted to online shopping I cant stop. Uncle Low's gonna kill me if he knows Im shopping almost every night. Well, just viewing and deciding. NV BUY OKAY.

Anyway, picture of the week. [pls ignore the lil part resting on the handle of the chair =p]

Taken by a guest who said our smiles brighten up his days. If only all guests were like you. =//

Ok, not many people read but just let me post up la huh.

Its their first time, and mine too. :))
The Lush Couture is up for the 1st collection! Pics not very nice though but Im still trying very hard alright? Not a pro.//

歌词的一句是这样写着:

夜深了我怎么办 寂寞了谁在身旁
心情变得好复杂 想她 念她 恨她
一个人你害怕吗 细数过漫天星光
说好永远不分开 多假 多假 多假
让记忆长出翅膀 飞翔
心放空了 寂寞 好了

听着这首歌的时候, 寂寞的感触都被挑侸了. 但我就是偏爱这种触动人心的歌曲.感觉蔡旻佑好像成长了不少.也是时候到我长大了吧.

I should have just keep my mouth shut from the beginning.

Sighs. Problems are emerging again. And Im VERY bothered by them.

How I wish I was young again. FUCK!

Seriously, I had happy days in my life too.

my 1st time as a model. tired but enriching.

our 2008 white-themed xmas exchange feast

my 21st bday (=

still young and wanna dress up alike days.


our 1st cruise trip

the day when we went expo sale and bought alot of things!!

1st picnic day!

this gotta be one of my happiest days (=

another expo trip which im very satisfied with.

some army dinner and dance thing. happy happy

drinking sessions in GPP. damn missed.

xmas 2007

attachment report pictures.

i so miss the laid back environment over there.

my party with my friends of 10yrs (=

the long awaited meet up

New asia Bar.

i miss smoking in the cold cold strong strong wind!

the lovely pool at Parkroyal Beach Rd

Squeezing in a mini van in BKK.

Lazy Sunday afternoon and Im feeling sleepy and tired (as usual).

I realised I miss you. And I felt guilty that I had neglected you for the past few months. I dunno whats got over me, I was unhappy with you abt something (which I totally forgot) and we sorta drifted apart. You were far away and it makes things difficult for us to communicate as well.

I smsed you that night, apologised and suddenly hope to see you real soon. Seriously wish ure doing well. (=

Miss you, TSY37!!

Yah, tell me about it.

How do I get the confidence back and the motivation in life?

You can tell me a list and still go on, but I'll still remain the same.

I always say 'its in my blood..', but frankly speaking, I think I din bother to give it a change at all.

Action always speaks louder than words. Its easy to say, but wheres the courage and everything to do?

Im someone who forgives, but not forget. I can forgive easily, but the incident will forever be in my mind. Maybe Im petty, but thats just me.

I finally know the placing I have in your heart. Thanks.

Well, afterall blood is always thicker than water...

Anyway, since Ive promised to live hard and be motivated (which Ive no idea how Im gonna start), I guess I'll just have to follow thru. OH GOD!

我也好想出国旅行哦。每天这样忙碌的工作也不知为了什么。每个月发的工资也不知跑到哪，这里还一点，那里还一点，到头来剩的都不够我过活。

心里想，存的那笔，想要出国玩个痛快也不够，想要拿来结婚也不够。

这几天的我，很懒散。根本没有冲刺，也没有力量往上爬。整天只想赖在床上，什么都不想做。刚放了大假回来做工，整个感觉怪怪的，好像和社会脱解了。好讨厌这样的感觉哦。

其实我心里有好多纳闷，好多问题。可是就不知道该怎么办才好。我好想去死哦。

Oh just fb and realise one of my classmate's getting married.

Well well well, time really flies. Its like we've all come to the stage whereby we experience life, death and marriage.

More ppl around me are getting married. More ppl around me are getting pregnant and BABIES! At the same time, Im receiving more news of ppl dying too. Tsk tsk. And again, Im unmoved and still stuck in the same ground 10yrs ago. CHEEBYE!

Its going to be two am and Im still not sleeping.

Alot of things running through my mind. The things he told me yesterday. The things that happened the day before. The incidents that happened today.

All of a sudden I feel so weak. How am I going to handle all those thats going to happen in my life?

Are things really going to be what is planned? Then why is it that nothing that Ive planned in the past happened?

I hate to think ahead. I hate to think whats going to happen or will happen. Maybe thats why Im always stuck in the same spot, be in my career, my relationships or my life. Im always in the same spot, never moving at all. Shucks.

Eh I really hate my life. FUCK YOU!

Just realised, its 100days more to yr end. Shucks.

2wks more to pei's wedding. It's gonna be 1 person less when we go over to 335mama house for gathering. )= Kinda upsetting. Tsk tsk.

Anyway, I cant wait for next yr to come. Not because I have goals or some travelling to do. But because I just want every year to faster come & go. Im BORED!!! =//

I MISS MY BOYFRIEND!!! )=

Im feeling down, dull, moody, unhappy. You name it, im feeling it.

WHATS HAPPENING?

I think its back. And Im letting it affecting me again. Shucks.

Wow. Its been almost a month. 

Aug flew past me and now Sep is at its mids already. What the hell am I doing?

Am's back from Aussie [yeah, she graduated (=], but we haven got the chance to meet up yet.

Im addicted to online shopping. There's always so much I wanna buy, but there's always not enough cash in my account. I love their quality, so much better than Thailand's ones. I love the convenience, having items delivered straight to you without even have to step out of your house. I love the low cost involved, in particular! Its so much better than going out for shopping!! And I save more money at home, being a 宅女, doing online shopping! I wanna save money and go overseas!! I wanna go to The Bahamas, Cha-Am Thailand and so much more! 

Im on 4days leave this week, currently into my 3rd day already. Nabeh, time really passes like fireworks when ure on leave. *&%#$%#

Looking forward to the 2weddings in Oct, and yeah I can dress up again! Boring, and Im starting to utter nonsense already. Ciaos...

Im in a very terrible mood now. Im not having moodswings or PMS, for god's sake.

THERE REALLY IS ALOT OF THINGS GOING THROUGH MY MIND. But I cant say out. And I dunno who to tell to also.

WS & YB is gone. I cant go ecp to chill and cry out all my problems without them.

Was I being selfish to feel this way? How come I feel awful when I think of them together? This shouldnt be the case cause I should be happy since Ive made my choice. RIGHT?

Seriously, I must learn to be contented. Like what Pong said, dun keep dwelling on things that they nv do that u forgot to see the things that they've done.

Aza! Learn to suck it up! And really, its time u should snap out of your pessimistic thinking! Hai, I feel like puffing now. This is bad.. *shakes head.

Ive finally wrote to Singtel to complain about the stupid MioTV Plan. Been procastinating it for too long. And since Im in a very bad mood today, I thought, why not?!

Din managed to get their email address, if not I'll would have just write a long damn angry complaint email to them. Instead I just went to their website and wrote on the feedback thing.

Here it goes...

I just wanna say I'm very dissapointed with your MioTV Plan, or rather the technical side. Ever since Ive signed up in May, there has been numerous problems and Ive lost count on the number of times I need to call the technical support helpdesk. Your guy even had to come down once to solve the problem and I must say its really a waste of BOTH our time and resources. The same problem keeps repeating every few wks and I dun see the reason why this is so since Ive already followed exactly what the technical guy taught me to resolve it. IT IS A WASTE OF MY MONEY since I had to pay for the wireless modem every mth as well. I am utterly dissapointed in this, not to mention the numerous troubles I had with the wireless internet the last time. This will be the last time I'm signing anything up with Singtel. Thanks

I couldnt write alot since they had the word limit. FUCK.

Anyway, its one item down my list. I got to stop procastinating.

All the way Aza!

And yeah, another week's gone...

Ive been living day by day lately again. No motivation, no goals. NOTHING.

Ive been saving up, but no short-termed goals. I cant go overseas, not even a short trip. I cant buy branded brands. I cant even go hotel stay and relax myself for that one day. This is so upsetting.

The other day, I felt so tired I slept on bus while on way home. And I overslept my stop. )= Had to alight at boundary rd and being so tired already, still need to climb the overhead bridge to get to the bus stop opposite. Punishment!

You know one day while I was on my way to work, I felt so moody. I had the thought to go resign and I want to lead my own life! I thought aloud, 'Im sick of serving caucasians anymore!' Then I ponder for a few seconds, I took back my thoughts. Im even terrified of serving singaporeans. *stuck out my tongue*

If you asked me whether I love my job, honestly I wouldnt know how to answer that question. I used to reply with full confidence that I love being in the hotel line. It lets me interact with people from all over the world. I made friends and I learned alot of things from them too. But now, as Im getting older, I cant imagine myself still doing what Im doing now 5yrs down the road. And what exactly do I want, I dunno as well. It feels like as though Im lost in the deep dark hole again (yes again). Sometimes I just told myself to get married and settle down being a housewife, and all I have to worry abt is whether the prices of the veggie in the markets have gone up or gone down, and things like that. Hahaha. But I know I wouldnt be satisfied one day.

Oh boy, Im so lost... )=

I love this hair.

Should I go cut?

But her face is damn small la. And mine is like so big. And getting bigger.

Should I should I should I?!

Im sorry for the lack of updates. I dunno what Im doing. Its just work, home, slack, sleep and uncle low. )=

I wanna blog abt my work, my job. But I dunno how to go abt doing it and how to even start.

I guess its all abt performing and impressing.

I dun wanna go into details cause its all only my presumptions.

Im not saying Im not happy going to work. But its just suddenly I feel that everyone has changed. And I dunno why. Or is it just me? FUCK

You know, I get so upset because Ive come to the stage whereby...

I cant fit into FREE SIZE anymore!!

Boohooohooo.

I just bought some clothes online. I thought I'll be on the safe side when I see free size.

When they arrived, I found that Im too big for their free size!! Nabeh. #$%@@!!

Should I buy the Omnia II??

Or the Omnia B7320?

I love how the way it looks like BlackBerry bt specs not that good compared to Omnia II.

I want I want I want!!!

Been a lonnng day today. After work went coffee chilling with Jess, Pong & Mark. Walao eh, funny ppl lo. After that, Plaza Sing for Mr Low's hp repair. Let me wait for so long can. Average waiting time is 10mins on the screen, nao hia, I waited for more than 30mins!! POOR SVC!

Anyway while walking to take the train, met Henry. No choice sat down with him and his boss to discuss abt insurance policy!

Hai, I think my life really no target lo. Now that Im at least earning something survive-able, I think I need to plan for my future already. )=

Argh, headache!!

See my poor ring. I dunno how it became like this....

Was working one fine day, I got back home and it became like that. )=

Its 0330hrs, and Im still awake, not wanting to sleep cause its my off day tml!! YIPEE!

Just finished milking Chloe. Lol. I sound like Im her mother. *breastfeeding.. wink wink*

Din have the chance to blog these few days cause its all work, home and sleep. But nonetheless, my series of B shifts are coming to an end, at least for this week. Hehehe.

Meritus Club is hard work, but still fun. (= Im glad I moved out of my comfort zone and moved on. And now is the time to save money!!! Yes yes, I NEED TO SAVE!!

Ive been through the poverty and Im scared. Lol. The time when I din even have the money to top up my EZ-Link card. CAN U IMAGINE! Therefore, I'll be good from now on.. (=

My mind's in a blank now cause it has already enter sleep mode. Shant go further cause I'll just write some rubbish. Ciao!

Mr Low is finally back in town. Feel so happy. Lalala. (= But Im damn sian lo, Im on afternoon shift the whole week can. *bish* And he's back to work next week already. Boohoohoo. Sometimes ah, I really wish Im working office hours. Hahaha.

Thats why, I thought of a plan! I wanna save up and do our own lil business!! Okok, finally Ive got a target in my life. Thats very rare okay. Hopefully it doesnt go *poof* in a matter of time. =p Anyway, I was telling him just now we haven really taken alot of photos recently and he was like, 'aiya, I think we have pass the stage of taking photos already' I FEEL LIKE PUNCHING HIM IN THE FACE. -_-"

Oh yah, a small little annoucement. Ive temporaily stopped my driving and has cancelled my test which is scheduled on 18th July. No cash left, no confidence of the test and no time to learn too. Okay la, no time is just an excuse I know. But seriously, it really drained me dry and wither. Im totally cashless at this point of time when Im blogging now.

Argh, so bored. How I wish I could just stay at home and rot everyday. Booohooohooo. Excuse me, Im emo-ing again....

I was bored.! Its already 2plus in the morning, didnt wanna sleep so decided to post up some VERY RANDOM photos. REALLY VERY RANDOM ONES.

At this point of time, Im feeling very sleepy already. Ciaos.