i wish tomorrow will never come.

i wish time would stand still at midnight and stayed like this forever.

im never a satisfied girl.

i wanna be self-contented.

happy 2009.

*sweep away all the bad luck!*

i feel so lousy now.

)=

i took the sweet life, but i never knew i'd be bitter from the sweet.

everytime when i faced problems,

i'll runaway and getaway.

and im doing the same now as well.

i just hope everything will turn out the way things should be.

i dun wanna hurt anyone,

neither do i wanna get hurt again.

I AM THE CONDOM COLLECTOR!

my drawer at the club is full of condoms. (i should take a picture of it one day and post it up)

just the other day, when i was checking the rooms,

came across 2packs of condoms.

1 was used, so i gave it to john.

the other 1 still unopened, i kept it.

today, emily went to check the rooms,

found another 6condoms.

and i happily asked her to dump it in my drawers. (=

anybody need condoms, pls feel free to call me.

btw, its durex featherlite. for extra senstivity. =p

even thou condoms brought me unhappy memories,

i choose to believe him.

dun ask me why. i just do.

merry xmas merry xmas. (=
end of the yr is finally here. (*GASPS!)

i want my santa! where are youu.


so abruptly, i shall end my post.

the last day of xmas -

yes, after much hot discussions on this movie,

i finally went to watch it last weekend.

very niceee!

initially, i was still having my doubts when the movie was first screened.

but after catching it, i finally realised the craze that was going on.

cant wait for twilight 2!! (=

oh, edward is so cute la.

abit too fair thou, with too-red lips. hahaha.

am going to buy e book!

but i think most of the bookstores are probably out of stock now,

nvm i can wait.

cuz i still have 'The Guardian' & 'Nights in Rodanthe' waiting for me. LOL.!

yuppo, this show is hilarious! all those flurry fat animals!

im someone who dun watch cartoons, but this one really must watch!

theres not much advertisements on this movie as compared to cartoons like madagascar 2, which i feel is quite abit wasted. )=

some touching elements in there as well.

really good movie - i give it 4popcorns!

lastly, a real-life bolt.

(i found it online, soooo cuteeee!)

im so thankful to the one who invented washing gloves.

for whatever reasons, it really helped me to prevent my hands from rotting further.

thank you. (=

its xmas eve tml.

and boy, time passes really fast. its the end of the yr again.

i suddenly have this overwhelming feeling coming over me.

dun ask me why.

i just felt sad because 2008 is ending soon.

i rem in my earlier post, how much ive wished and complained that 2008 would pass soon.

but now as it is really coming to an end, i regretted what ive said.

i kinda miss this whole yr.

even though it made me a stronger person,

even though i had my fair bit of crying every night,

even though i had lost you,

even though i was unhappy.

but looking back, i wasnt really that keen to make this yr go.

nevertheless,

its time to move on i guess.

all the best for you.

and all the best for me.

ps, jing. though i could nv understand how you felt that time when she left,

but i hope you'll stay happy for her.

i know everyone in the house sucks.

but still, come to me whenever you wanna have some warmth or drink some soups ok?

we love you. sy and me.

www.orderperfume.epetzjoy.com

hmm, can order together if want. cuz i think more than 10bottles can bargain for a better price. (=

dun ask me if its real or fake one.

i myself haven try it also.

think its real one la.

information provided by mr low. (=

a xmas buy for myself...

yes yes, LG ice cream phone. (=

they look so nice and korean. but not very sure if its user-friendly. nv use LG phones before.

am still contemplating which colour to buy. they are only carrying pink and white in the spore market.

and best thing is, without any plans, the price is only $338!!

while washing the dishes today at work,

my chest felt those tightening pain again.

i always have this pain every now and then,

but i just brushed it aside cuz i tot it was because im wearing a bra.

but today?

how can it be?

i wasnt wearing anything underneath my uniform...

'oh so what do you want.

not letting go, yet dun wanna give up.'

'oh i feel so selfish. dragging things, making things complicated'

'if you're not going to let go, u'll nv going to move on'

'maybe ure just imagining things, giving urself false hopes. he's not coming back to you.'

all those voices inside me.

they're making me go mad.

can anyone tell me what to do?

im in a mess. sobs

hotel is soooo quiet for this month.

and our club occupancy is like only less than 20 in-house for next wk. (i dunno if i shud be happy or sad)

will be cutting on the stewarding aunties.

WHICH MEANS THAT WE NEED TO DO THE WASHING NOW!

)=

my fingers just got alil better,

now with all those washing,

i wonder....

will it ever heal?

sobs.

so angry with those neighbourhood aunties.

when my mom told me, i OS to myself.

'I MUST BLOG THIS'.

certain details i shant say out, cuz i suspect she reads my blog. -_-"

anyway this is the conversation between my mom & XYZ

out of concern, my mom asks....

mom: eh hows your daughter? nothing serious happened la i supposed?

XYZ, without answering my mom jumped straight to another topic..

XYZ: eh i heard your daughter broke off with her bf ah, and shes smoking now.

my mom so paiseh but still can bravely ans..

mom: yah i know ah. she smoke for fun only.

damn tulan ok! lol. these kind of aunties ah. so kpo one can! cant stand.

so proud of my mom. hahahaha!

suddenly everything just fade away.

there seems to be no mood for anything,

when i know how unhappy you're.

very much i would like to be there for you

like before.

but truth is, i think i brought only more stress to you.

if anytime, you need me,

i'll be here.

i just dun want to see you feeling unhappy and stress all alone.

perhaps if i know there's another person sharing your unhappiness with you, maybe i'll go away.

the other day at loreal hair seminar..

damn tiring day, but it really let me experience being a 1day model. hehhehheh.

there's actually lots more photos, but they are not with me now.

6models altogether.

tien - my stylist & trainer who spotted me at the warehouse sale

& dylan, one of the stylist & trainer.

particularly like the lights around the mirror.

so dressing-room feeling! (haha, IT IS A DRESSING ROOM)

tts nelfy, 1 of the models & ian, make-up artist cum fashion designer.


she is very pretty and cute i tell you.


after the 1st show. having our lunch break.


look at her dress! every girl's dream..


tts bethia. 1 of the models spotted at e warehouse sale too!


xiao shi & nelfy.


xiao shi & me. (yes. tt day theme is black & red. ps. your favourite colours!)


some random pics...





and finally, me in my civilian clothes..


i dun like my hair & costume on tt day!
makes me look old and rounder face.
but tien insist its a dolly hair. ohwells.
she decides.

the drag queen is in town.

lalalala!

yes yes, ive snipped it!

after like dunno how many years..!

anyway, am still quite happy with the results.

so far so good. (credits to jing & linda)

2008 is coming to an end.

need to stock up on a few things,

and so the list goes..

perfumes.

cosmetics.

sanitary pads / pantyliners.

hair products.

clothes.

shoes.

bags.

last but not least,

i wanna invest in a very good watch. (=

haven had my pick yet, but soon!

when ive got enough capital. whee la la!

here i am,

standing at the reception,

barefeet, behind the counter of course!

and blogging.

we're made to go down and help out at the reception after 9pm

if we are doing B shift now.

okay la, i dun really mind. (but then it will depends on who im working with la)

am going for my haircut tml le!

going to cut short my hair!

its been dunno how many years since i had short hair.

hope it will turn out nice. if not, im going to hide in a hole till my hair grows out!

whee. will post the picture up soon!

speaking of that, ive got lotsa of pictures to upload leh!

pls wait and see.....

oh oh oh!

11more days to go!

quickieee!

suddenly,

there's this indescribable feeling in me..

nothing can explain this complication..

=P

i dunno why im feeling this way.

perhaps its just due to tiredness i think.

my feet hurts. my fingers hurts.

and my mind is lethargic.

the carpark became my favourite my place again....

whey, wheres the sun?

we're going tanning later leh.

*chiku chiku lalala* come out come out please?

pulls down one eye and stuck out the tongue.

*erhem, doesnt this look familiar?* =D

things have been going pretty smoothly for me the past 1wk.

nothing major bad had happened, on the contrary, good stuffs have been coming along.

or shud i say, not-that-bad stuffs. (cuz good things haven been finalised yet!)

perhaps its thanks to the 'fu' that i got from bin. *acknowledged*

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recently it had been in my head.

the tune, the lyrics and its meaning.

... i cant stand the pain,

and i cant make it go away...

... the night goes on,

as im fading away...

... so i try to hold onto a time when nothing matters,

and i cant explain what happened,

and erase the things ive done...

i looked thru the photos, i thought back on those times

and then i realised, the stab is still inside my heart.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

congrats congrats.

uve finally defeated the stand chart marathon. (=

am really happy for you and as ive said, i couldnt stop beaming when i walked thru the lobby after seeing your msg.

now thats its over, one more thing less on your mind. (i dun wish to see that troubled look on your face anymore ah!)

and one day, ure going to the tcm with me.

happy birthday serene's mama!

its been so long since you've invited me to your place for steamboat.

dun shoo me away cuz ima hakka. hahaha.

eh serene, better dun let her know incase feb she dun allow you to go hk with me. )=

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im so tired. damn tired.

i nv felt so lethagic before. its not the 'tiredness' few months ago.

im physically really too tired that i wanna break down and sleep for good.

good night peeps.

i wanted to blog abt so many things...

i wanted to blog abt sy.

i wanted to blog abt bin.

i wanted to blog abt myself.

i wanted to blog abt ed.

i wanted to blog abt cutie, sis

theres just too much things on hand. and im tired.

its kind of a mental torture for both.

sounds like a yes, yet could be a no.

i dun wanna make a decision.

i chose to remain things as they are, and live in my self-created fantasy.

i dun wan things to suddenly turn ugly,

and the bubble just burst like tt.

i wan things to remain as beautiful as it is now.

i know i may sound selfish & childish.

but we've been thru all those shit just months ago,

and i really couldnt afford to have any shit coming my way anymore.

let me leave this place first.

theres just too many obstacles to overcome now.

even thou everytime i say i hate xmas season blah blah,
i actually do love the xmas shoppings.
shopping for gifts, calculating your budget, thinking hard whether they will like the present anot etc etc.
in fact i quite enjoy the moments. doing sth for your love ones.
thou i dun mean if you dun get any present from me, ure not my love ones. (=

got to start working on my list soon!

i wanna go xmas shopping soon...

i ate beef in front of a non-beef eater again.

lol. dun misunderstand me. im not a beef lover.

its just tt the dish happened to have beef in it.

not my fault thou...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

how on earth is this going to last?

hmm, wanted this vague relations to end fast,

to have a decision soon.

but it seems like im dragging it.

cuz i dunno what / how to do.

i dun want you to be a walking shadow.

i feel so bad.

i ate beef in front of someone who dun take beef.

=p