to mr monti if he happens to see kylie's blog and then happens to link to my blog:

miss you!

why u take pic with kylie nv take with me?! wuahaha.

i also want.

tag me!!!

=D

lazy sunday. lazy me.

half a day has gone by. there goes my one day off.

off to battle tml again.

sighs.

was supposed to go meet MR LOW for lunch before he starts work.

and im so angry okay!

due to the fact that he's worried that i'll be tired from rushing here and there, he say he will stay at home and eat maggi! and then! dun want to meet me. if i say im not tired and i wanna come, means im not tired and i want to come!

and my meeting to go pray with jing was cancelled as well. due to laziness, although none of us say out, but its understood. wuahaha. and weather doesnt look good! how to pray!

and ive got no cash to go shopping. sobs sobs!

when is my pay coming in??!!

finally a time for me to concentrate on blogging AND COMPLAINING.
wapiang! u know hor! yesterday theres this really damn fucked up stupid woman called.
the conversation as follows:

me: usual greetings (afternoon, reservations!)
fucker: do you have rooms from 24th to 25th?
me: yes mdm, i only have deluxe rooms at $400+++
fucker: WHAT? Im a corporate client of yours u know?!
me: yes, but my hotel is running on high occupancy, we are only left with deluxe rooms, selling at rack rates. (losing my cool, chee bye, i owe u one issit?)
fucker: $400! how can you all sell this kind of rates to singaporeans?!
me: (repeating myself agn) yes, because my hotel is full already, thats why we are selling this rate.
fucker: ARE YOU A SINGAPOREAN?
me: yes i am.
fucker: KEEP THE ROOM FOR YOURSELF THEN!
AND THEN SHE SLAM THE PHONE.

omg, i was so damn angry okay! this non-educated barbarian come and spoil my sat afternoon and make my blood boil until my whole face was so red! sobs!

and my bf MR LOW! left me alone on a sat night to went out with his friends! drinking (hahah, but it was cancelled last min), and change to mahjong! hmph!

and so, i was left alone at home to watch some english show on channel 8! and mum came home and break the news to me. boohoohooo.
JING, you will be interested to know.
oh yesh, mama invites u all to my house to chill! apparently she forgots abt amily. lol. amily, better make ur presence known ah.

good luck.

to all those who had left and who will be leaving.

irene, the beauty who is in search of his beast.

kylie, who promise to go uncle ringo but in the end, nv turn up.

joanne, the skinny girl who is always stealing my water to drink.

ismail, the handsome chief concierge who has got 2 wives!

zabir, whom i'll rem the lil joke that baby jon told me!

last but not least,

waikay, the forever so cool "gu huo zai" chef.

and of cuz jess lah,

the lady who taught me how to walk professionally in the lobby and whom i always think is compatible with my "gu huo zai" chef!

i guess things wil not be the same anymore.

thats why,

we must learn to protect ourselves.

those words.

accident,

coffin,

gone,

memories.

it hurts.

and they sent tears to my eyes.

i know i sound overly-affected,

but this is jus me.

i dun like my friends or anyone ard me to be crying at the coffin.

even if i dunno the person who passed away.

Can anyone pls just take care for my sake?

my friend's gf just passed away.

in a bike accident.

and she's sucha pretty girl.

to all who's riding bike,

or attending bike lessons,

xiao xin pls!

i dun dare to think

much anymore.

i cant imagine my friend

passing away again.

or whoever i know.

or even my boyfriend.

pls,

take extra care when ure out on the road.

i love you,

everyone.

i shall not be the same anymore.

not the same when i was an intern.

i shall be firm and not be bullied or accused.

no way am i goin to tolerate all these anymore.

you shift the blame on us when things goes wrong,

when backlogs goes wrong, when groups or watever bookings are not in order.

hello! humans make mistakes alright?

and look at the pile of workload everyone is having.

i know you got your reports to do! so all the sai kang we do!

phone calls we ans, backlogs we do, irritating ppl we handle.

and you will always have figures to do, reports to submit, meetings to attend.

forever so busy.

what the fuck!

you are the manager, she is the executive.

you do reports whole day.

she do arrival check whole day.

and us?

whole day got to multi-tasks.

and the pay we get?

peanuts. PEANUTS! DO U KNOW?!

this is so unfair.

NABEI.

i get scoldings or lectures everyday until im really demoralised already.

im sorry for making all those mistakes.

i admit its my fault.

if im in the wrong,

i will stand up and admit.

but dun keep thinking that every wrong things done,

'ORH AZA!'

everything is me meh?!

chee bye.

so what if im new here.

giant was doing the backlog yest as well,

why didnt you question her?

why am i the 1st one to come to your mind

when things goes wrong?

just because my name is there on the fax?

pls, i already left for the day.

and giant was clearing the rest as well.

why didnt she see the fax?

why are u indirectly blaming me?

i feel so accused.

thats why i confronted you.

no way am i going to let myself be accused anymore.

im learning things by myself most of the time.

you as the manager, i dun think u know much anyway.

i apologise for being so frank and fugly in this entry,

but sorry. i still mean what i say.

wad SOP or whatever shit.

hello?! nobody told me what is SOP, from the time i was a trainee till now.

it was up in PPC then i know wad is SOP.

and who told me abt all those SOPs in the diff depts?

NO ONE. HELLO!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS HOTEL AND THE PPL HERE?

CAN SOMEONE PLS JUST CLOSE DOWN THIS HOTEL?

i was so sad today

i dunno why.

after my work,

as i was stepping out of the building,

i feel so lost suddenly.

i thought to myself,

omg, i cant carry on with this life everyday.

i want to die!

then i realised,

im afraid to die.

and i weeped in the bus.

quietly, listening to my mp3.

i need to breakaway.

a real breakaway from the world.

i tot my problem was big enough already,

and u will think urs is bigger.

does that mean my problem is not a serious as urs,

i cant think of suicide?

if you really think living in this world is a real torment,

then go ahead and die.

because its no use lamenting about

how ppl dun understand you,

how ppl can just tell you "this is just a phrase, jsut endure it" or "life is still beautiful"

when all you can think of replying them is

"YOU'RE NOT IN MY SHOES. YOU DUN UNDERSTAND!"

well, at least these ppl cares, they wouldnt want you to die.

if really u are so sick of life, and keeps blaming ppl ard you,

let me tell you.

JUST GO AND DIE.

yes i will be upset,

but at least ure freed from your sufferings.

you dun have to bother about anything under the sun.

no happiness no sorrows nothing for you to complain about.

it wouldnt be nice telling you to go ahead and die, straight in your face,

when ure grumbling and whining about how life is so unfair.

so if ure reading my blog,

and u think that u fall into that type of category,

ive said wad i wanted to said.

we keep wanting to die,

to be free of all the troubles we have.

but do we really have the courage to die?

ive tried.

and if u want me to jump down from a building,

just like how my friend did,

i dun dare.

or if u want me to cut my wrist or have an overdose of unknown pills,

i wouldnt want to risk my life,

cuz im scared i might end up in the a & e suffering,

instead of dying.

maybe an accident or some natual disaster,

just let me be alone.

cuz i wouldnt want you to die with me!

you promise u will wait.

ur love for him,

is that so superificial?

that u cant even wait for him?

he's suffering in there,

begging u to wait for him

yet ure out there holding hands

with some other unknown guys.

ure one of his strength to carry on,

if he knows abt this,

wad is he going to do?

sighs.

who can buy me a king size bed for my birthday!!

the word

"king sized bed"

turns me on.

whoo whoo whoo~!!

it was only until yesterday,

i start to realise.

im getting old.

went to take neoprints with my cousin.

and the feeling is so different,

from the last time i took when i was in sec sch.

aiyoyo.

dun know how to pose,

dun know how to use the machine.

lol.

like 2 suakus!

buahaha.

its okay.

we use handphones and digital cam now.

(=

To my long lost brother found during my poly days,

whose mum cook nice chicken wings,

and who calls himself iskandar loh:

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!

"dunno tell you tml"

all i want is a simple yes or no answer from you.

is that so difficult to ans?

i know ure tired.

but ITS JUST AN ANSWER!

ITS STH THAT DUN REQUIRE ANY THINKING!

if you did, a yes.

if not, a no.

tell me, what is so difficult?

at times,

those heart wrenching pain

really makes me cry out.

so,

dun ask me why i cry.

because

whatever i do,

theres no reason.

but there is always a cause.

for which i do not wish to say sometimes.

though i know u dun read,

but i still want to say.

just pull me close and hug me tight

when those cold tears flow down.

im still happy being with you. (=

i am back to blog.

so tired today.

went for the ching ming festival to clean my grandpa's tomb,

or what they call i dunno lah.

i have difficulties explaining to my manager lo!

the morning jam start as early as 6plus in the morning.

phew!

i think next year we better stick to going at night,

instead of itching our butts and go in the morning.

theres so much i wanted to say in my blog,

so much mixed feelings,

these few days.

perhaps, i was thinking,

i should stop being so childish and selfish sometimes.

it once happened in the past,

and now it happened again.

but it all happened because

i was insecure!

i sorry for being like that lah,

but i just dun like the feeling of being left out.

hai, bye.