supposed to meet kylie and gang later.

hope she wun fly aeroplane AGAIN later! the reason why i write her name and gang is because normally, she's the one who flies. hahaha! we dun actually rely very much on joanne also. (but we dun blame her, cuz shes really flying, literally)

its been quite some time since we catch up. hope we'll have fun tonight! yipeee!

giving up is always the choice that i choose.

at times i just feel so helpless, and useless.

whenever im unhappy, i'll give up.

im just a small lil girl who can nv grow out of her shell.

suddenly, these songs came to my head..

'i hate myself for loving you'.

"scandalous"

since when have i become sucha bitch.

i just wanna have some fun under the sun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adYbFQFXG0U

very touching.

love knows no limit and true friendship last a lifetime.

just like you & me (=

i just had a bad dream. so i woke up. )=

anyway i had a good 12hrs sleep already. its been soooo long since i had a good sleep.

am, are u still sick? theres no love from us here tts why abit long to get better horr? must call Mel to SHOWER love for u everyday!

jing is going to bkk soon. have a fun trip ok. but rem to be careful. (=

i thank e 3 of u who sms-ed me yesterday. touched that u still rem its tues despite ur packed schedule. anway, he's ok for the moment now. we just have to take a step at a time. thanks darlings.

i wanted to blog abt my argument with mr low yesterday. but lappy battery is running low, so i shall give it a miss. hai

MUAAAAHSSSSS~!!

i just realised ive got not enough funds in my account for them to deduct for this month's school fees! GOODNESS.!

and i so happily have forgotten abt this. my extra load for 4yrs. BOOHOOHOO.

sian, got to wait for them to send the 'unsuccessful deduction of funds' letter to me. SOBS!

the second one will never become the first one.

but im still glad that theres the second one there.

cuz at least we know we do have someone to rely on in case sth goes wrong.

oh, aza! what are u talking abt?

im sorry, im just mumbling..

im contented to be the second one.

went flyer with irene last wk.

still rem jess and us promised to go together, and also to make sure that it doesnt go over benjamin sheares bridge (some silly joke that i made).

well, in the end, we really met jess there. hahaha! even thou not together, but not too far away from us also. so nice, she was just at the next capsule. LOL.

oh my oh my! we purposely already walk very slow to be the last so that 2 of us can be together in the cabin privately (erhem!). but nabei man! in the end, we need to squeeze into one cabin with some unknown very noisy ppl! WTH??!!

1) one spore husband with CHINA woman, 2kids and one auntie.

2) 1 angmoh man with his chinese wife and 2kids.

3) 1 quiet couple (which is still ok)

kaos! i cant stand the noise at all! those stupid kids! want to make noise, go home then make noise lo. this is a public ok. the mother dun even care, just let the kids run and there shouting and screaming like as if thats their playground lo.

i hate this kind of mothers and children lah!

im so terribly broke that i dun even dare to look at my bank account.

yesterday i wanted to top up my ezlink with $10, only to realise..

the transaction cannot go thru!

SOBS

since im 21 this yr, i reckon i shud blog 21things abt myself.
so here goes...

1. im tall - and im very happy with my height (=
2. i hate my skin the most - they are too dry
3. i love my small a-cup boobies
4. i love to apply blusher like as if they are free
5. im super terrfied of cats and rats
6. (im actually running out of things to say alr)
7. my armpit is black in colour (LOL)
8. im underpaid
9. ive only been to malaysia and taipei
10. my 1st plane ride is at the age of 21 to taipei (so embarrassing to say out)
11. ive got a bf now who lovess me alot! and i love him alot too!
12. i need to drink at least 3btls of water a day
13. if u notice, im actually hunched-back
14. i love chilli - the hotter the better
15. i had 4 boyfriends and 5 relationships before (=
16. and alot of not counted ones (hee)
17. im not a smoker
18. i wish to go to Mauritius and Paris at least once during my lifetime
19. I DUN CLUB (cuz i cant dance)
20. im shortsighted
21. ima sized 8 (for shoes)

anything else ive left out? (=

i feel so bored and lonely in this cold weather.

sobs

you know ppl always have their down moments. sometimes we dun even know why we are feeling this way. sometimes there could be a underlying reason thats making us feel this way, yet we just dunwanna admit that its the reason and continue to feel depressed. (ive always lived this kind of self-deceiving life)

im glad that whenever im at my down point, i always have ppl that i can whine and lean on.

i dunno why, but whenever i see my friends upset or troubled over sth, i feel the same way as them! and its really affecting me. (and i mean only close friends, not any ahcat ahdog friends lo). when they are so upset, i will feel that my happiness pillar is going to fall, and i'll be upset with them as well! im so useless hor? im supposed to make them feel happier, yet im there crying with them. oh aza!

and when i see them so happy, i feel so happy for them also.

im not trying to say im very noble or what lo, but i really do feel this way for my close friends.

is everyone feeling the same way as me? or is it just me?

just watched the fireworks at the club.

VERY NICE! nicer than yesterday. but the company that i had yest was better than today - my dear2!

really appreciate his company alot yesterday night. i know he's damn tired alr, after working overtime yet still have to tolerate all those crowds and the waiting time. he hates to wait! (except waiting for me. lalala)

thou this was not the 1st time we watch together, but its different from the previous ones!

1st time was jus a coincidence. we were walking halfway then we saw the fireworks.

shall not talk abt the 2nd time cuz it was not a very pleasant experience.

yesterday was the 3rd time and the most happy one! thank you dear2!

i dun care, we shall have many more fireworks to watch together ok! (even if it means waiting. hehehe)

this entry is to reply to all those who tagged (i realised my tag box is too mini. i need to scroll down so many times!)

yanz: hugss. im sorry i stood u up last min! isk has got new gf. we shall check her out very soon! (=

dawson: thanks for concern. things are still pending at the moment. will be alright i hope!

lass: just some drawbacks at home. will update u if everything turns out alright. are we meeting up for tanning soon? its always me and irene. we are getting sick of each other.

1002: this shows that ur teachings are not in vain. ive picked up the positive skills from you. or is it that uve transfered the postive ones to me, now youve become depressed. (huan gei ni huan gei ni huan gei ni)

serene: lol. since when i told u i major in marketing one! if i major, i wouldnt go hotel for attachment liao leh! ure always dreaming and then putting words into my mouth. i think ur memory not as good as last time, when u will always help me rem the things that i'll forget and help to ans those qns that ppl will ask but i will nv have the ans to. (cuz ive forgot all abt it!)

im laughing now la, as im typing. whenever i think back of sec sch days, i always laugh. do u still rem mr kim went to eat his lunch halfway during our lesson then come back with one rice still stuck on his face.? HAHAHAH! so classic. i think we can write a book on our sec sch days lo!

am: hehheh. am, i willl NOT tell u who that person is. teeheehee. u can refer to your email if u want. (= ooh, i miss u all so much. boobies boobies. whr has smallie gone to? no news from her for sooo long!

nirvana: why must u choose sucha nick? why cant u put yx or loh2? LOL. jing will laugh at you! have u grown skinnier? its been awhile since we met up! i wanna borrow dresses from you! when are u flying off..

ok, just now was a sentimental post.

now, im going to scream all those ***** words out.

I TELL U, IM SO DAMN SUAY TODAY OK.

ppl always say TGIF, today for me is, NLTF (nabei lah, this friday).

im soo sooo sooooo angry leh!

this morning i come to work, happily changing then suddenly realise my stocking is missing. i was like WTH?!?! my stocking leh, u also wanna steal? worse thing is im working 6am lo. and at this kind of time, there's always very limited female staffs around. thank god, Mel was the GSM on duty. even thou we are not very gam lah, bt shes still so nice to lend me one pair of stocking. (= ar bo i think i really need to go nude feet today liao. thank you thank you.

after that, i got scolded by a gst for nth. perhaps its partly my fault lah. but u dun have to say all these things right in front of my face right, asshole. maybe i was wrong to send u a msg 8plus in the morning asking u to settle ur partial bill (hehehe), but i swear i did turn the beeping sound off lo. NABEI. and i already wrote there, 'AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE'. u dunno how to read ah.! come already then start shouting say that company is paying for your room charges. KAO BEI lah. no money dun come hotel and stay lah!

ok, last thing - club black out today. LOL. neh ni neh ni bubu. i think auntie went to put the egg boiler on top of the warmer and the bottom melt lah! lol. short curcuit! hoohooo.

thank god my day is going to end soon. lalala. fireworks later. hope i'll be able to catch it! (=

my friends ard me - they are always so happy. im always complaining and whining to them abt my own lil troubles.

yet, i think nobody is telling me what they're facing.

and when their real problem comes, i start to feel so inferior of myself. cuz its then that i will realise 'hey, uve got bigger problems than me! how come im always pouring my woes to you, yet u tell me nth at all?' it makes me feel so stupid and spoilt like a princess (which ive always hated).

but yet when ppl tell me their problems, seriously and honestly, i cant do a thing to make them cheer up. i dunno how to make them feel better, or even better, solve their problem for them (i think im a very bad counsellor). the only thing i always say is 'i cant help, but im always there for you when u need me'. sometimes i wonder, DOES THIS EVER HELP AT ALL?

HAI, LIFEEEE..

business centre is always the time i get to blog during the worktime.

this morning, so many things came to my mind to blog, but now, once i started on this paragraph, every thoughts that i had just disappear.

sometimes i was thinking, humans are never contented. even the simplest girl on earth. it got me thinking, why are ppl so greedy? or is it we compare too much, thats why we are nv satisfied? )=

sometimes, when you hear things like, 'oh my bf is a chef' or 'my bf works as a police officer' or 'my bf's a hairstylist'. you'll go "wahh". but seriously, after some time, all these doesnt matter anymore. cuz ultimately, what we want is a good guy, who spends quatity time with us, who understand our needs, and of course, who loves us back like how we love them.

i still rem, few yrs back when we were in sec sch. u know they always have this streaming level? I always hated this, to try to draw a line between the smart ones and the not-so-smart ones. (cuz i belong to the the not-so-smart class)

serene and i was just laughing abt it yesterday. how we were so embarrassed when our names were called in the last class. and the moment we sat down, we start to cry & cry. come to think of it now, so malu lo!

anyway, the msg that i wanted to bring across is, it doesnt matter which class u belong to, neither does it matter ure the top or bottom. cuz when u grow up, all these doesnt count! u could be in the last class, but u'll still succeed in life later on! (well, like what serene is now). She was in the last class, but she shines during poly and is now in uni! (ok, even thou is SIM).

so dun give up lo. there is a glimpse of light in every corner.

(gosh, this is SOOO not me to blog abt this entry)

my fingers feel so botak cuz ive just cut my nails.

i just realised when someone told me that i didnt blog abt my relationship with dear2 in feb last yr when we are together. hmmm, come to think of it, why didnt i blog ah?

anyway, it doesnt matter lah. we are together and everybody know. thats it.

to that somebody: thanks ok. went to dig my archives. (=

ooh, i loveee burberry touch.

=D

something nice.

i was just humming to myself the song. went to look up the lyrics.

If the heart is always searching,

Can you ever find a home?

I've been looking for that someone,

I can't make it on my own.

Dreams can't take the place of loving you,

There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true.

particularly like the part that ive italic-ed.

here i am in the business centre, reliefing Mary for her makan.

its quiet down here. some peace for awhile. (atlast).

and somebody just msg me saying i only praise him abit only. eh, at least i didnt forget to mention you here lo. very seldom i will praise ppl one, summore up here in my blog ok!! u shud be proud. hahaha! ;p

but im really grateful to you la, for the advice and the company. appreciated!

its nice that i took the initiative to talk to you. otherwise u'll be so bored with them! and of course, u earned a trustworthy and good friend (which, of course, is yours truly =D).

okay dun say im not good. ure not a bad friend either. at least u brought me to see aeroplanes and eat nasi lemak in the dark. (=

friends forever.

hey peeps. im sorry if ive been mia-ing.
too many things have happened one after another. sobs.
thanks for those who have been there for me. those who lend me a shoulder to cry on. those who lend me their ears in the middle of the night.

ive been missing out - with my friends, with everyone in fact.
the only thing ive been doing is working & worrying.

hai, why do i always have to be so weak and unhappy.
why are there always troubles and problems?

we are all so worried. god knows what will happen after the 26th.
we wanted to prepare for the worst, yet keep expecting that the worse might not come. what are we going to do? how are we supposed to break the news to you? HAI. im willing to shorten my lifespan for exchange of his life. for giving him a second chance. for anything!
judges & jury! pls give him a second chance pls! on account that he's a first timer! sobs sobs

one after another. im so tired already.

happy august day.

when is doom day coming?

im not the old me that i used to be anymore.

i dun like the new me at all.

can someone just fulfil my wish? )=