Just had a fight this morning. Maybe I should really treasure my time with him now Because when she is out, I guess it's normal to be down-ranked and the world doesn't revolve just around me n him anymore.

I don't ask for being the 1st, Because I don't wish to be disappointed. But sometimes the thought of not being the 2nd anymore hurts. I tried to not be like in the past, so dependent n falling head over heels Because I don't wish to be hurt again. Once is enough. He always asked if I still love him. I do, I still miss him when he's not by my side at night, I still love the days when it's just us out for date nights. But things are so different now. We do not have that burning passion. It's all responsibility and commitment that matters now.

Marriage sucks. If there is really everlasting love, I think marriage will destroy it.

一个人的自己

I love being independent sometimes for some matters. People see me as being stubborn, but I just wish to be by myself. If I can depend on myself, why should I bother or trouble people?

I love going to the airport and take the plane myself. 

I love going shopping by myself (If I have alot of money and alot of stuffs to buy)

I love being at home by myself sometimes. 

Sometimes I would love going to the cinema and watch a movie by myself (I haven try that)

Sometimes, maybe I would love going to hospitals or clinics by myself (If I am not too weak to go by myself)

我喜欢我自己的一个人生活 how about you?

How much is your love?

How long can one survive with just love? ETERNAL is bullshit. Too many external parties are here to destroy and weaken the relationships. If you can stay strong, good for you. If not, good bye.

THERE IS NO SOLUTIONS

Hello hello, well its been coming to one and a half years of marriage life. Not sure if Im still adapting well or, trying to at least. 

Well, to be frank, I am still not comfortable and "carefree" staying together. I need the freedom and the space. Yes, I know that is not possible so yes I need to suck it in. So stop asking me why am I unhappy. Its just so difficult to stay together and get used to one another's living habits. ITS HARD. I tried, but I still am not happy. Maybe Im just hard to satisfied. 

I dont like how she always ask me to greet people. I GREETED and I will greet. There is no need for unnecessary reminders like this. 

I dont like how I do not have the freedom to walk "freely" in my room.

I dont like how I must often cramped my toes when I walked into the kitchen & toilet and most of the times have to rinse the toilet bowl cover before I can sit down & do my business.

I dont like how I have to interact with the kids once a year or so. 

I dont like how when I opened the fridge and all I see are mess and uncovered food and maybe some expired cans. 

I dont like how tables are always cluttered with unopened / opened letters and chips and all sorts of mess. 

Cant really list down what else but yes there sure is. I am not perfect and I have my own bad points too. I guess its just the different living habits and the conditions that I was brought up.

I love him, and I only wanted to marry him. Not the whole kampong. 

It isnt all bad staying together la. I mean yes la, there's good times but I can do away with these good points just to get my freedom lo. 

Sometimes when I wanted to talk to him about how I feel, Im afraid he'll find me childish and ridiculous. Like hello?! There is seriously no solutions, so whats the point in talking about it ley? End up only both of us unhappy. I rather I'll be the unhappy one since all along I am that girl who is always unhappy about everyone and everything. So let it be lo.

Okay end of rant.

They left in 2012

Missing those who left me in 2012 to be up in heaven. 

I miss you guys.

WATCH out

Komono Bond - Black & Zebra looks good

Nixon The Re-Run

Komono Wizard Print Series - Leopard

Nixon The Small Player

WHICH ONE?

The shield

Maybe its really at the wrong time? Times like this makes me think if we are making the right decision. 

Yup, I agree the love is there, but sometimes there's just too many factors to consider. 

What do you think?